Chinthas or Thoughts

Chinthas or Thoughts J

The other day, there happened a speech which took the state of Kerala by storm. In that speech, the person wondered “Do all mothers in Kerala wear Jimikkis? Do all fathers steal the mothers’ Jimikkis? If at all they do, do the mothers whose Jimikkis are stolen, drink Brandy in Kerala?  

By that logic, let us all wonder a bit more J

Aayiram Kannumai kathirunnu ninne njan. Ennil Ninnum parannakannoru painkili malar thenkili –

“Does this mean a person has 1000 eyes? If there are 1000 eyes, are all the eyes used to wait for someone? Just because the person moved away from you, are you calling the person a bird? Does that mean all gulf malayalees are birds?”

Malare ninne kanathirunnal…Mizhivegiya niramellam mayunna pole –

“Does this mean this person singing the song is a Gardener? I say so because he is talking only about flowers. If he s a gardener, why is he thinking only about flowers and not about plants? He says if he doesn’t see the flowers, he feels like all the colors are fading away. I am asking him which colors are fading away?  He should specify that!”

Appangelembadum ottakku chuttammayi…ammayi chuttathu marumonukkai –

“Why did the ammayi make the appams all alone? Why was there no one to help her? Is this reflection of our society in these times? That too, look at the patriarchy! Ammayi made the appams for the marumon. Not for the marumol. These customs need to change!”

Anuraga vilochananayi, athilere mohithanayi padi mele nilkum chandrano thidukkam –

“Why are we talking only about the moon? Why are we not talking about the sun who works hard all day long? Poor Sun. He is being ignored. Also, why is the moon standing at the top of staircase? Ask him to come down!”

Alternate endings #3 ~ Bharatham

Bharatham

There are many Malayalam movies which are close to our hearts. However, we wish if only the ending could have been different. ‘Alternate endings’ is an effort to imagine just that – what if those movies had different endings. 

Gopi (Mohanlal) becomes a world renowned singer. Devi (Urvashi) is by his side as a strong pillar of support. At every performance, he remembered his brother. He ensured that his nephew, Appu got the best in class training in music. He took Appu along for all the concerts too. At one of the international concerts, after singing a few Keerthanams, he said that his voice is strained. He asked Appu to sing. He was hesitant. Gopi insisted that he sings and sing he did. The audience appreciated with a thunderous applause. The musicians asked him, “Is the history repeating itself?” He just smiled. On the way back to the hotel, Devi asked “Even after singing continuously for three nights, your voice has never strained. It did not strain today also, did it?” . He smiled and replied “ After all these years, I will find peace in tonight’s sleep”.

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Alternate endings #2 ~ Manichitrathazhu

      Manichitrathazhu

There are many Malayalam movies which are close to our hearts. However, we wish if only the ending could have been different. ‘Alternate endings’ is an effort to imagine just that – what if those movies had different endings. 

Nakulan and Ganga moved back to Calcutta. They were happily settled with 2 kids – Naga and Gulan. Sunny used to visit them often. One day, to his surprise, Sreedevi was also there at Nakulan’s house. He was in touch with Sreedevi through letters and phone calls. He asked “You never said you are coming?”  “I wanted to surprise you”, said she. “I hear that doctors who treat psychiatric patients themselves fall ill by the end of their careers. Is that true?, she asked.  He said “Yes. At times, that happens. We deal with someone else’s mind for so long that we lose our own. But why are you bothered?”. She said “I was just thinking, it will be difficult to look after a mad psychiatrist in old age”.

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Alternate endings # 1 ~ Vandanam

Vandanam

There are many Malayalam movies which are close to our hearts. However, we wish if only the ending could have been different. ‘Alternate endings’ is an effort to imagine just that – what if those movies had different endings.

 Unnikrishnan (Mohanlal) and Gaadha (Girija Shettar) separated different ways at the traffic signal. They continued living their lives. She was fed up of the advertising job and put her heart and soul in to studying and prepared for a bank exam. Her first posting was in a Bank of Baroda branch in Hyderabad. One day, she got a loan application. She was going through it and came, the applicant. He was applying for his home loan. Upon seeing him after so long, she was overjoyed. She could see the happiness in his eyes too.  “On whose name will the house be? Yours or in the name of someone close to you or someone you trust?”, she asked expectantly. “I am registering the house in my name itself till I find someone I can trust”, he told her.  She let out a sigh unknowingly. Both of them laughed their hearts out. 

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My son has become a Dulquer!

My son has become a Dulquer!

It was a family function and I happened to overhear an uncle saying this” My son has become a Dulquer”. Intrigued, I went ahead and asked him as to why he says so.

Uncle went on to explain “All the time, my son roams around on a bike. From time to time, he tells his mother that he wants “space” and “freedom”. Our house is quite big. I don’t know why he says that. And freedom from what? The British? Then he says that it is his life, his decisions, his individuality and his destiny. I agree to all of that. But does he know anything about his destiny? Where he is headed? Also, he says he wants to do things differently. That is what all youngsters are saying these days. If all of them start doing things differently, won’t all of them again become similar? Isn’t these things that Dulquer Salman says in his movies? That’s why I say my son has become a Dulquer”

Listening to that uncle, I couldn’t stop laughing. The way he told all of this much more hilarious in person. Imagine the above dialogues in the voice over of Innocent or Lalu alex. You get the drift? That’s how funny it was.

p.s. Dulquer is one of the most successful stars in the Malayalam film industry now. He is doing very well for himself inspite of being his father’s son, not because of it. So I don’t agree with the uncle here. But that dialogue, “My son has become a Dulquer”is quite insightful and humorous all at once!

The Mallu English

The Mallu English

Malayalam is said to be one of the toughest languages. May be this is why Malayalees learn other languages faster. The flip side is that we add our own malayalee flavor to those languages :)

For instance, many a time, we go to a pizza shop and order a small pizza and a large Co**. No, we are not being perverts. All we want to order is a large Coke. But the way we say it makes it sound a tad bit vulgar. It’s just the influence of the language you see.

When we go for a small break, we might ask you if you want tea or cOOOffee?? Why do you guys laugh? Because we say coooffee? So you will laugh when we say ooofeece also right? Such snobs you all are.

Now, the sing song way in which we talk. Aaare we gooing theyar orrr nooot? Thanks to our beautiful language again, we try to implement it in other languages as well ;).

So now that we have made peace with it, understand that not all malayalees speak that way! Stop telling us that you don’t sound like a mallu! And accept the fact that whichever state you are from, your English has its own regional dialect. Just that we don’t take the pain to point it out every time J. It is just a language and none of us are perfect. So stop pointing it out and let’s simBly have a coofee BRAWWWW!!!!

Thattu Kada, The Heavenly eateries in Kerala

Thattu Kada

If you travel across Kerala especially in the nights, you will see roadside eateries. These eateries are called ‘thattu kada’. These shops serve mouthwatering food. They will be very brightly lit and a lavish spread will be available. It is something to be learned as to how they manage to wrap up all of the equipments and put them in to a small cart. Another interesting thing is these shops come alive only in the evening. In the mornings, they easily camouflage in to the background of a bus stop or a tree’s shade.

There will be a cook who will be dishing out ‘dosas’ or ‘omlets’ or ‘appams’. He might also be steaming the ‘idlis’ , ‘puttu’ or frying meat too.  Then there is a person who takes orders and collects cash. This person has to be really good at multi taking and memorizing. These people have to be extremely fast because there aren’t enough seats to accommodate more people.

These ‘thattu kadas’ are Kerala’s own fast food joints J.

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Kambili Puthappu

Kambili Puthappu

The title of this blog in Malayalam means a blanket(made of wool to be specific). But it gained an entirely different meaning once the movie ‘Ramji Rao speaking’ released in the early 1990s.

There is this hilarious scene in the movie where in a lady calls up the hero and ask him to bring “kambili Puthappu” for her. The hero pretends as if the telephone line is not clear and he is unable to understand what she is saying. This was to avoid the responsibility and thus the expense to bring the blanket. From then on, people of Kerala have been using this word whenever we want to dodge a request or we suspect that someone is dodging a question or a responsibility.

Now you might wonder what the 4G girl has got to do with this entire thing. I strongly feel this girl who is sort of a brand ambassador for a particular firm should be replaced and the lady in the picture should be given that role. This makes more sense since people have been complaining about the network issues of that particular provider. What say?

Po Mone Modi ?

#PoMoneModi ?

I happened to see this hashtag trending on Twitter ~ #PoMoneModi . I do not endorse or criticize the politics about the hashtag. But I must say it’s quite smart and funny. So all of us from Kerala know what the hashtag means.

For those of you who do not hold the God’s own voter id, here is all you need to know. There was a time in Malayalam cinema where the heroes used to have super human powers. Thankfully, we are over that phase. In that forgettable era of Malayalam cinema, there was a film called ‘Narasimham’ which starred Mohanlal (we call him Lalettan). To be fair, that was a good movie but the ones which followed and imitated that movie were horrible.

So the hashtag mentioned here is inspired from “Po Mone Dinesha”, a dialogue from the film which literally means, “You Go Mr. Dinesh”, said in a contemptuous way. It caught on big time in kerala. Everyone from a little ‘Tintu mon’ to a matriarch started using this phrase. Like many phrases in Malayalam, it has a tone as to how you say it. Also, it has different connotations to it. Primarily, it is used as a dismissive phrase. Also, it is like belittling the other person in a way by calling him a kid. So how it is used in this hashtag here is for you to judge :)

Know your kuttans

Know your Kuttans ~ Tony kuttan

Kuttan is an endearing term used to address small boys. At times, we use it for big boys too. One such kuttan is Tonykuttan. He is a character which all the 80’s and early 90’s kids remember with fondness from the movie, No.20 madras mail. He has caught the imagination of many a train travelling malayalee.

Pronounciation : Kuttan ~ Ku (‘Cou’ as in Could) and ttan (‘Ten’ as in 10).

So Tonykuttan is a malayalee( ha ha surprise!) and he is drunk( ha ha big surprise! J ) and he is in a train. The TTR comes for checking, becomes friends with him and he starts singing this song. “Innallenkil naale varum…naale allenkil mattannal varum..Tony Kutta…Tony kutta..” . The essence of the song is in stressing on the Kutta part. You need to be careful in adding some air to the pronunciation of the word, Kutta!

So next time you travel to Kerala, seek out the TTR and sing this song to him. If he is a malayalee, he will throw you out of the train J. If he is not a malayalee, he will think you have gone mad. So a safer idea is to sing this to your friends.

Does this song or character have a great deal of importance in the Kerala society’s fabric? Not in a serious sense. But we like the song. We like Tonykuttan. Tonykuttan travels by train. Tonykuttan has good friends. Tonykuttan sings songs. Be like Tonykuttan.

P.s. There are Kuttans of different variety.There is a harmless kuttan in movie Blore days. But the moment you add thampuran as second name to kuttan, the entire scenario changes!!!

New Gen!

New Gen!

              This is the time of ‘New Generation’ wave in Kerala. Anything and everything is New Gen to the extent that it has almost become part of a present day malayalee’s lexicon. Allow me to elaborate on various aspects of New Gen. 

           These days, the famed lungies of kerala are a disappearing attire. They have been replaced by shorts and track suits. It is beneath the new gen to wear lungies. Thankfully, they still wear Mundu(dhoti) proudly during Onam celebrations in their colleges. 

           Further to this, they have done away with the endearing ‘Chetta’ term. Even if you are elder to a person by a month or a decade, you will be invariably called ‘Bro’! And if you are someone who has a special place in their hearts, then you become  a ‘chunk’ or a ‘freak’ with random numbers of alphabet ‘z’ before and after. Illustration :  ^^^^^zzchunkzzzz, freakzzzzzz#####~~~~~. This expression is usually found on Facebook. 

              Also, it is mandatory for these youngsters to be part of at least one short film. If not, a photoshoot where in these people will be staring you down with different ‘attitudes’. Do not miss the hairdo in these pics. You might think they are carrying a Pomeranian puppy on their heads. Nope, it is just a hairstyle :)

              When so much is happening around, how can Malayalam cinema go unaffected? Infact, the term newgen was coined to depict cinemas of today. The speciality of these films is that the hero will not wear a mundu. He will sport boxers! Malayalam cinema has much to thank Fahad Fazil for this. Also, the only relationships portrayed in the films will be of friends. There won’t be any character playing a mother’s role or a father’s role. There is no question of extended family or siblings.

          Another newgen transition that has happened is that the ‘thattu kadas’ have now moved inside the malls from the road sides. Also, the wedding photo shoots that have emerged. About that, we shall discuss in another blog.

Crossing the Pamba!

Crossing the Pamba!

These days, river pamba is a hot topic of discussion in Kerala. For those from outside Kerala, river pamba is on the foothills of Shabarimala. Should women enter pamba, cross pamba or see pamba at all? Too much time and words are spend over such discussions. So Pinklungy as always shall provide a different perspective to pamba.

There is a usage called 'Pamba kadannu' which literally means 'crossed pamba'.  It is used to indicate something on the lines of 'Elvis has left the building'. So if someone had fever and is feeling better now, one can say 'pani pamba kadannu' which translates to 'fever crossed pamba' which means fever has long left the person. So next time someone says 'pamba kadannu', don't ask them "oh! On a boat or did you swim?" :)

p.s. Now don't start saying it is Pampa! It is not the Kerala English at work. It really is PamBa! :)

2nd p.s. Lord Ayyappa is the one of the most secular and progressive Gods. His best friend Vavar, is a believer of Islam. He doesn't care what religion his devotees belong to. How we wish if we all were so progressive!

Hollywood bows down to Kerala!

Hollywood bows down to Kerala!

                     It is a known fact that Malayalam Cinema is respected across the world. It has national and international recognition be it for the flawless scripts or for the understated yet powerful acting skills of  famed artists who belong to this industry.

                   But not many of you would have realized that Hollywood is also indebted

to Malayalam Cinema. Ask me why? I hope you have seen Avatar. What is the story line? The hero goes in to an unknown territory, becomes friends with the people there and tricks them in to believing what he wants to say. A while later, he has a change of heart and he becomes part of people from this unknown territory leaving his bosses high and dry. Now go and watch the movie ‘Vietnam Colony’. And you tell me that the story line is different! Isn’t Vietnam Colony, Pandora? It is! All that is lacking is the blue beings of Pandora are not singing “Pathiravayi neram..panineerkulirambily…”

                Now you might brush it aside as a coincidence. Then what about the movie Judge? When I saw the trailer itself, I knew it is a rip off of Narasimham! What is the story line of Narasimham? “A judge who is known for his exemplary honesty and pristine career has a high achiever son. Once, the judge has to pass a judgment against his own son. This leads to them drifting apart. Then comes a time when the son has to rescue his dad from a sticky situation which leads to reconciliation” Now go and read the synopsis of Judge and you tell me that it is not inspired from Narasimham!

p.s. We malayalees are well-read and well-travelled enough to know that what is mentioned above is a long stretch of the imagination. But we are among those who like to laugh at ourselves ;)

24 Hours!

24 Hours!

        Twenty four hours is a significant duration of time in God’s own country. It is as much time our officers take to crack a case in Kerala. Yes you read it right. Our police force is at par with the Scotland Yard police force. Within that time, we prove crimes in Kerala; however hardened a criminal is or however twisted a crime is!

        Now how did we arrive at this time frame? Did we do some sort of analysis? Is it some sort of a global benchmark? Of course not! We arrived at this 24 hours with the help of movies.

        Right from as long as Malayalam movies with police officer protagonist have existed, there is one constant dialogue that rings in the theatres. “24 manikoorinullil, ithu njan kandu pidichirikkum” ( Rough  translation ~ I will crack this case in 24 hours). Be it Suresh Gopi who kind of is the Gold standard in Malayalam cinema Police officer roles or the new gen police officers, every one sticks to 24 hours rule. If the movie is a political drama, there will be at least one scene where the home minister generously gives 24 hours’ time to a police officer.

        Now what will happen if a Hartal is announced in between this 24 hours duration? What a question! Ofcourse, we push the deadline and tune in to Asianet with a plate of Porotta and that which must not be named!

I ate beef cutlet

I ate beef cutlet

        You might be wondering what is so special about this blog. Even I never thought the title of this blog will ever be controversial. Sadly, that is what we all have come to.

        Do you realize, Kerala is one of the few places in India

which doesn’t judge you if you tell the title of this blog out aloud? A couple of reasons. One, we are educated enough to understand that what one eats is his/her personal choice. Whatever my religion is or of that of the person who eats it has nothing to do with that choice. When I say educated, it does not mean the number of people with a degree from a university. By educated, I mean the ability to embrace pluralism – ability to understand another person’s view point.

        Secondly, the social fabric of the state is such that we have all the three larger communities living at peace with each other. Not only at peace, but with much love also. I think one of the reasons is the fact that we all have friends in all the communities. So the thought of a person is good or bad just because he/she is from a particular community does not cross our minds. We celebrate all the festivals without thinking of which book it originates from.

        The good thing is that in Kerala, we are still free to eat what we want. We all love the biriyani from Kozhikode, the beef curry from Kottayam and the sambar from Palakkad. We will continue to love these dishes. Along the way, we will continue loving the people who make them too J.

P.s. Is eating beef cruelty towards animals? Yes. Should we stop it? May be we should start trying. But reason should be that and not anything else. Having said that,  isn't eating chicken and mutton also cruelty? Should we stop that too? I'm an ideal world, we should.